Needless to say, this dispute made its way into court, and the judge decreed that Leinart needs to up his payments to roughly $12,500 per month, however the potential incoming 6th member of 98 Degrees will receive joint custody of the kid and be allowed to spend Saturdays and Sundays with the young Cole.
As for Cameron, she officially is nominated for best celebrity mother of the year for ensuring that the greatest provision ever was included in the custody agreement, prohibiting Leinart from letting Britney Spears or Paris Hilton anywhere near the baby. Inviting those two over to help raise a kid is about as explosive as inviting Lindsay Lohan to an open bar in Columbia. Kudos to Brynn, although I might’ve also encouraged Matt not to allow any of the former 98 Degrees members around the kid, either. No one deserves to have a live, a capella version of “Una Noche” as their bed time melody.
I don’t know how America can’t get caught up in the nostalgia of a steroid-using, perjuring, cheating, asshole becoming the sole holder of the most hallowed individual record in baseball history. I mean, what’s next? Will Americans just turn off their TV’s when T.O. goes to break Marvin Harrison’s single-season NFL catches record in 2007? Will Americans stop paying attention when Michael Vick scampers for a fourth TD in the 2007 NFC Championship game? Hell, will we not watch when Rafael Palmiero gives his hall-of-fame induction speech?
Well it’s a popular day for football star murderers here on Parlayer. I don’t even want to give O.J. Simpson any coverage on this site, being that he likes to kill people and all, but if any media coverage of The Juice is warranted, it’s either: A) His Nordberg clips from Naked Gun, or B) This footage of Orenthal James being pummeled by prank callers calling him out on his murdering spree in a variety of clever ways.
I love at the end when the interviewer, who’s probably fearing for her life, tries to apologize to O.J. for the barage of murderer insults he received, and O.J. steps up to the plate to announce it doesn’t bother him as long as the questions are serious. Well, yeah, I can see that. I guess when you know you have a free pass to murder in the state of California, having people insult you about it would probably not affect you too much.
What a douche bag. Go back to stealing your Direct TV you piece of garbage. Too bad we don’t have a ‘murderers’ section on Parlayer I can file this post under…
Like it or not, O.J. Simpson had a legendary career in the NFL, which earned him a place in 2K Sports’ new video game, “All-Pro Football 2K8.” Unfortunately for The Juice, a judge has ruled that all money earned from lending his likeness to the game will go to the family of murder victim Ron Goldman, who won a wrongful death suit against Simpson and are currently owed the lion’s share of a $33.5 million judgment.
This unfortunate clip shows Simpson playing for the fictional team “The Assassins,” complete with a creepy giant robot mascot making a stabbing motion when Simpson scores a touchdown.
Will Pacman’s professional wrestling career resemble that of the Mailman’s or the Worm’s? I mean, both were just oh so memorable…
Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones may be unable unable to get within a mile of Tennessee Titans‘ training camp, but that doesn’t mean he’s not going to put his athletic prowess to use in other high-impact athletic endeavors. Everyone’s favorite Pac-Attack is reportedly in intense negotiations with Total Non-stop Action Wrestling, also known as ‘the league of wrestlers who hate Vince McMahon so much they refuse to work for him for more money’. Apparently, if Pacman can reach terms with TNA, he will have some sort of role in the programming, but he won’t be wrestling as the evil villian. I mean, casting a guy who chucks $80K around in strip clubs that ultimately lead to his possible involvement in a shooting to retrieve the money as the bad guy would just be too unbelievable, so obviously such a script has no place in the word of professional wrestling.
Those of you who remember Vick’s last spot of trouble may recall that it became impossible to order customized Atlanta Falcons jerseys from the NFL store with the name “MEXICO” emblazoned across the back. Words like “DOG FIGHTER” and “PIT BULL” are now also banned from custom NFL jerseys. However, the name of Vick’s alleged dog fighting operation, “Bad Newz Kennels,” is still available.
Trading card manufacturer Upper Deck has even pulled Vick’s name and likeness from all of its memorabilia, including cards, helmets and jerseys, and card maker Donruss has followed suit. Come this NFL season, it will be as if… As if Vick never existed.
*Prevailing thought now holds that, if Vick is convicted of the charges against him, the pantheon of evil will include Hitler, Nero, Stalin, Mao and Michael Vick.
Or at least he loves the one in this picture, who probably is undefeated in the under twenty five pound weight class. Mike, I just can’t thank you enough for supplying me with enough material to write about your transgressions for the rest of my life. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to petition the NFL to let me get my Michael “Ookie” Vick jersey custom made.
By the way, is anyone a bigger fan of the Tim Donaghy story right now than Michael Vick? Vick must be prating Daunte Culpepper steals a nuclear warhead at this point. Anything to deflect that unwanted attention…
When you have the luxury of going shirtless and showing off excessive flab, there’s a good chance the ladies will love you…
Check out this candid photos of Pittsburgh Steelers kicker Jeff Reed getting all sorts of poo-poo’d in the club with some umm…kicker-calibur ladies. If you ever want to see beer goggles in action, take a good look at Jeff Reed. I’m thinking Reed is entertaining the concept of thinking Rosie O’ Donnell is pretty hot at this point. It’s a good thing he took his shirt off, because I don’t think he was sealing the deal with those two bombshells in the absence of showing off his rippling flesh and that wicked cool armband. Too bad Reed didn’t have the matching slap-bracelet to go with it.
Now I know that kickers don’t have to do necessarily be the most athletic people in the world, but maybe Jeff Reed should hit some Steelers’ minicamps and try and lose that bowling ball he apparently swallowed from his stomach. And who’s the dude to the left of Reed, Daniel Sepulveda? While he’s at it, maybe Reed can hit up the nearest Lady Jane’s; how in the hell could he ever get a helmet on with that absurd set of golden lox? But kudos for Jeff Reed using his ‘celebrity’ status to bring in the babes. Nevermind his that his Yokozuna-esque counterpart probably could’ve done the same with these girls by getting them each one drink. That’s beside the point. You’ve got to love those NFL kickers. I wonder if the degree of ass they can pull is based on their kicking abilities? For instance, if Reed is pulling in Felicity Huffman calibur here, Adam Vinitari would probably pull in Jessica Alba and Nick Novak would probably pull in Roseanne Barr. I guess I’ll have to ask Reed if I ever see him. Shouldn’t be too hard to find him; I know he’s probably at a bar or fast food joint, and definitely not at a gym.
The look of a mentally defeated man who is unable to come up with a better insult than calling a stripper a hooker and insinuating she has a pimp…
Bears’ uber-linebacker Brian Urlacherhas allegedly been sending some nasty text messages to his baby’s mama, and now it appears that there could be some ensuing legal action on the horizon. Tanya Robertson claims Urlacher sent her messages calling her a “hooker” and “jealous bitch”, and suggesting that Robertson allows herself to be pandered.
Personally, I don’t know what Robertson’s qualm is about this situation; those insults were probably uttered about twenty-eight times a day at Pamela Rogers’ in her classroom, although unlike most adolescent classrooms, the male kids probably yelled it as a compliment. You’d think an NFL linebacker in his late 20’s could come up with something a little better than insults spewed on the back of the elementary school bus. After reading their text messages, if you had to draw a cinematic parallel between Urlacher and Elijah Dukes as to what you thought they were capable of doing to another human being, you’d think Urlacher was Jeffrey Lebowski and Dukes was Tony Montana. Sure, Urlacher might be a little crude in his speech, but ultimately he’s probably not going to hurt anyone (at least off the gridiron). But Dukes…at this point I wouldn’t be surprised to see feds’ raid his house and find him swimming in a mountain of nose candy, culminating in an absurdly long automatic weapon shootout.
And if you’re wondering why I can make light of what could be such an excrutiating situation, it’s because apparently Robertson has tried to shake down ex-boyfriend and Lord of the Dance star Michael Flatley. It’s always nice to know that if there’s one thing that a Riverdance choreographer and an NFL linebacker have in a common, it’s a tendency to get into legal battles with an exotic dancer. Can someone check Robertson’s speed dial for someone who goes by the name “Pacman“? Pretty please?
Tony’s shedding any potential for future alimony payments just like he sheds those tackles - without any backbone
Kansas City Chiefs tight end Tony Gonzalez wants his girlfriend to know just how much he loves her, so he’s planning on doing what any man in that situation would do: Tony’s going to pledge his love to girlfriend October Russell in a formal commitment ceremony. Essentially, Gonzalez will go through the motions of having a wedding, but not sign anything legally, undoubtedly to protect his rather large monetary fortune.
What this basically means is that at some point in the last 30 years, Tony Gonzalez has been castrated. Seriously, Tony, show a little backbone. If you don’t have the guts to ask for the pre-nuptial agreement, then don’t go through with all these made-up theatrics. I wonder what Gonzalez will do to baptize his child? Maybe just take him upstairs, say a quick ‘Our Father’, and sprinkle some water from the toilet bowl on the baby’s forehead. How many other sacred traditions can Gonzalez’ hack-up because he’s got no balls whatsoever? If Tony Gonzalez were eight years old and on GUTS, I’d bet he’d finish last and get knocked off the Agro-Crag by those falling green styrofoam boulders - that’s how unmanly he’s become.
Anyone who wants to come over to my place this summer for my first annual ‘formal bashing of Tony Gonzalez ceremony’ is welcome to join. We’re not going to go to the game and boo him, that would just be too expensive.
