Maybe you remember the Season 8 Seinfeld episode where George is hellbent on using a comeback after he gets zinged at a Yankees meeting for eating shrimp like a pig. While soliciting advice on how to handle the situation from the gang, Kramer not-so-subtley suggests that George tell the guy who zinged him that George had sex with his wife. A classic insult, no doubt, but not one George wants to use. Well, when George’s planned comeback fails, he predictably becomes frustrated and relies on the old wife insult, only to find out that his target’s wife is actually in a coma. Well, let’s just say the following video shows what happens when you try to zing a professional boxer with some derivation of the old “I had sex with your wife!” diss.
Hmmm, yeah. I’d have to suggest that this guy is slightly more intimidating that Jason Alexander’s nemesis on the Seinfeld episode. Probably not the best idea to diss his marital partner.
All I know is that from now on I’m going to think twice about making fun of any products that have the little ‘Made In Taiwan’ sticker on the back of them. As a general rule of thumb, it’s never a good idea to make fun of a country which could conceivably unleash an army of midget boxers on you in an attack. I mean, I don’t know what I like the most about this video - the fact that there are two Thai midgets boxing, or the fact that the video proves the nation of Taiwan actually has enough boxing midgets to sustain a league for vertically challenged boxers.
Ok, nevermind. After watching it again, my favorite part of the video is definitely the fact that there are two Thai midgets punching and kicking the crap out of each other while the announcer can’t find any analytical insight other than saying “Ooohhhh!” repeatedly. Now that’s priceless.
Knockouts are always fun, but I’m a sucker for that underdog mentality. I’ll take Little Mac every day of the week and twice on Sunday. Plus, it took me about 17 years to actually beat Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out, and I still never took out Tyson in the 1st round, so I find this clip particularly impressive.
Well, in 2007 it’s possible some half-ass heavyweight could get away with doing this to Iron Mike Tyson. But in 1986? I don’t know what Mitch “Blood” Green was thinking.
I’m not even going to ruin the artistic quality of Green’s verbal barbs at Tyson with any of my trifling commentary. Some things are best left unsaid, and I think commenting on this video is one of those things. If you can’t find the humor in this on your own, I don’t know what I could say to help you.
While Johnnie Morton never quite reached the level of “NFL superstar,” he had a 12-year career that left him wealthy enough in retirement to live the quintessential NFL-retiree life: Open a car dealership or maybe a trendy restaurant and finish up his days getting acquainted with top-tier golf courses.
Instead, Morton took an alternative approach. In just over a week, he’s slated to step into a chain link cage and make his mixed martial arts debut.
Morton will walk into a ring for the first time June 2 at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, beginning his second career. He expects to ask himself the same question that friends, family members and former teammates have been asking him for months: What in the world are you thinking?
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But Morton said there was only one person in the N.F.L. he would really like to see in the ring — Matt Millen, the Lions’ president. Millen directed a homosexual epithet at Morton after a game between Detroit and Kansas City in 2003, when Morton was playing for the Chiefs.
I can’t tell you what I and every person in Detroit would pay to see that one happen.
This is why you never hear of any legendary boxing bouts coming from Canada. Someone needs to get Mills Lane in here to teach this guy how a proper break is executed. I can’t even begin to fathom how a boxing refereee is supposed to orchestrate a break, but I can go so far as to guess it’s not done by sticking your head in front of one of the muscular boxer’s rapidly moving fists.
I’ll guess this dude doesn’t get the call for Mayweather - De La Hoya II.
I know it’s good to be loose before a fight, but I can’t help but feel like De La Hoya should be focusing more on his upcoming battle with Mayweather Jr. than making funny internet videos. Shouldn’t he be meditating or engaging in some non-ejaculatory sex or something?
Man, no wonder I can never win a fight. I never warm up properly. Next time I’m about to brawl at the bar, I’ll definitely make sure that I take a couple minutes to limber up and get in the right frame of mind before any actual punches are thrown. I’m sure the other guy won’t mind. In fact, once he sees how serious my warmup routine is, he’ll probably just concede the fight anyways. Then he’ll hand over his girl who, equally impressed by my boxing warmup skills, will have sex with me right then and there. Yeah, and she’ll even be understanding afterwards when I start crying.
In what surely resulted from a search for the “least likely Indian movie star,” Mike Tyson has signed on to dance with the cast of an Indian comedy film in a promotional spot.
“It’s finalized,” Chattani said. “Tyson will be shooting the music promo with the entire cast.”
Why Tyson? Aside from instant publicity, action hero Sunny Deol stars as a boxer in the film, directed by Ahmed Khan.
“The movie is a laugh riot, and the filmmakers thought Tyson would be great in the promo,” Chattani said.
Sounds well and good, but there’s a catch: Tyson is set to go to trial in August on charges of drug possession and driving under the influence of drugs, and prosecutors aren’t generally thrilled when convicted felons take off halfway around the world when they’re supposed to be in a courtroom. Assuming the court gives him permission to go, however, we’ll eagerly look forward to leaked footage of Tyson busting some serious moves, Mumbai-style.
I don’t want to brag, but yeah, I’ve beaten Mike Tyson’s Punchout! And contrary to popular opinion, it is, in fact, cool to take a picture of a video game achievement.
An August 20th trial date has been set for Mike Tyson following his December arrest for drug possession, according to ESPN.com. Mike Tyson in legal trouble?! What has this world come to? Speaking as one of the billions of people worldwide who sports a facial tattoo, I have to say I did not see this coming. But then again, Tyson does have quite the history of bad luck. First there was that whole rape conviction thing when it was clearly just a case of Mike accidentally falling on a girl and his penis happening to get inserted into her vagina. Later on, Mike caught a bad rap when he was fighting Evander Holyfield and Holyfield tried to ear-butt Tyson in the mouth just as Mike was clenching his teeth. And now we have this obviously fabricated drug possession charge. You’ve failed us once again, legal system.
