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At least Austin Miles’ athleticism is all-natural…

Well, the Nielsen Ratings came in for Barry Bonds‘ breaking of Hank Aaron’s all-time home run record, and they thankfully weren’t as impressive as originally thought. Bonds drew a rating on ESPN that’s closer to Aevion Cason’s yard’s per carry average (1.1 rating), while the preseason NFL game between the Dallas Cowboys and Indianapolis Colts drew about 2.5 times the number (2.7 rating) of viewers watching Bonds. Apparently American sports fans are more interested in watching immortal wide-outs such as Austin Miles from Monmouth State and Jamel Richardson from Victor Valley haul in passes from Tarleton State legend Dick Bartel than in watching Bonds hit number 756.

I don’t know how America can’t get caught up in the nostalgia of a steroid-using, perjuring, cheating, asshole becoming the sole holder of the most hallowed individual record in baseball history. I mean, what’s next? Will Americans just turn off their TV’s when T.O. goes to break Marvin Harrison’s single-season NFL catches record in 2007? Will Americans stop paying attention when Michael Vick scampers for a fourth TD in the 2007 NFC Championship game? Hell, will we not watch when Rafael Palmiero gives his hall-of-fame induction speech?

I’ve never been more dissapointed in my country. If Sly Stallone single-handedly ending the Cold War marked the apex of my patriotism, Americans not watching Barry Bonds break the home-run record probably marks the low-point. Well, that and when Vince McMahon decided Lex Lugar was going to be the All-American successor to Hulk Hogan in the WWF in 1993.

And I only pray thickly-laid sarcasm translates as well into text as I think it does while I type this.

-NEIL

Here are some good reads:

• Barry Bonds Calls Upon The Reverend For Number 752. Too Bad God Hates Cheaters.
• Barry Bonds’ Autographed BALCO Poster For Sale. Unknown If The Specific Product Endorsed Is Flaxseed Oil.
• Bruiser’s Bet: B-Zito is Back