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I’ll skip all the jokes about former Detroit Tigers first baseman Cecil Fielder doing a McDonald’s spot. I’m not going to say “Did you know that if you stab Cecil Fielder Big Mac special sauce comes out instead of blood?”, because I’m above that. I won’t mention the irony that the only legit baseball star in Detroit during the 1990’s who also happened to be like 275 lbs. plugged the most unhealthy fast food item of his time (if it were today, I think Cecil would be pimping that monstrosity of a chicken/potato/gravy/cheese/biscuit bowl that The Colonel offers). Instead I’ll just let you focus on a cute commercial when cubby little Prince adored his slugging papa and when said papa had yet to make a generous $580K donation to Donald Trump’s Atlantic City casino.

I hope McDonald’s gave Cecil some sort of lifetime food pass. Without a pass (or Prince’s money), I don’t think he can even afford too many Big Mac’s these days. He’s probably limited to Yogurt Parfaits, Side Salads, and Apple Dippers.

-NEIL

Here are some good reads:

• Security At Miami Nightclub Has No Desire To See Why Dennis Rodman Is Called “The Worm”
• A Cheerleader Who Doesn’t Know What Cheerleading Is All About: Inappropriate Touching And Exposure
• Charlie Weis Should Stop Being Morbidly Obese Instead Of Suing Doctors