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I know it’s a hard subject to broach, but Martin may want to inquire if Alyssa’s ever experienced any quality ‘Lima Time’…

Recent first-time MLB All-Star Russell Martin’s stock is hotter than a twenty dollar belt when Craig Monroe is in the store. Martin, who has been one of the best offensive catchers in baseball this season, propelling the Dodgers into contention for the N.L. West division championship, made the mid-summer classic earlier this month for the first time. Then, if playing well and helping the team win wasn’t enough, Martin showed he’s a nice, humble, guy by sending out a mass e-mail to every L.A. Dodgers employee thanking them for their help and contribution in helping him to make the All-Star team. Even the Costanza-esque person in the ‘assistant to the traveling secretary’ position probably got the message.

But after reading that Martin has joined the parade of MLB’ers who have been romantically linked to former ‘Charmed’ and ‘Who’s The Boss’ (or as the roles I like to remember her by, ‘Embrace The Vampire’ and ‘Poison Ivy 2′) starlet Alyssa Milano, I’m not sure Martin’s stock can get any higher unless he suddenly receives the Democratic nod for the 2008 presidential election. Now I can’t say I remember any stories ever linking Samantha Mosselli to Jose Lima, but if I were Martin (or any of Milano’s previous MLB dudes), I’d check stat to make sure that she never had a fling with Jose. There’s no quicker way for a star athlete to lose his star power than for him to suddenly wake up with an insatiable desire to continuously scratch his groinal region, followed by a mysterious, unexplainable burning sensation when he goes to drain the lizard - just ask Jose.

And one last side note: given Milano’s affinity for the hurling half of the battery in the past (Zito, Pavano, Penny), why the sudden switch to a catcher? Let’s hope it doesn’t have anything to do with Lily Leonetti’s desire to get kinky in bed and be on the ‘pitching’ side of things. At least for Russell’s sake - he seems like too nice of a guy.

-NEIL

Here are some good reads:

• King James Likes The Common Wench
• Eddie’s Money Bet: The Nets Close Out the Raptors Tonight in Jersey, Bruce Willis Not Available for Sideline Commentary
• Around The Horn: Speaking Sports For Tuesday, May 22, 2007