With no qualifications other than a B- average in 9th grade biology, my expert medical advice to Charlie Weis is this: Stop being fat and you won’t need to sue doctors who mess up trying to make you less fat.
So Notre Dame head football coach Charlie Weis is suing a doctor who allegedly botched his gastric bypass surgery. I hate science and medicine related stuff, so I’ll spare you the details of what the alleged problems with the surgery were. However the doctor is now claiming Jabba The Weis went against physician advice by cramming the surgery into too small of a timeframe where Weis wouldn’t have ample recovery time.
I think the doctor is going about this with the wrong defense. Perhaps he should point out that Charlie Weis wouldn’t even be in this position if he wasn’t so DAMN MORBIDLY OBESE! Stop suing doctors who have to make you less fat, Charlie. Honestly, Charlie Weis has joined the Anna Nicole Smith/Cecil Fielder/Kristie Alley hall of fame of people who you can make the joke “if you stab them, gravy would come out instead of blood” about. I mean, it’s never a good sign when your football team’s head coach is the guy who eats the most at the pre-game buffet.
Being fat now enables people to sue. Great. I’ll make sure to never cross Oliver Miller in my life. What’s next? Will being ugly give people standing to sue? If so, I’d advise avoiding Cadillac Anderson and Shelden Williams at all costs.
-NEIL
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