Even the good Reverend can’t help Barry combat the evil demons preventing his march towards history…
San Francisco Giants’ slugger Barry Bonds has been mired in a recent 0-20 slump which has left him getting a little chippy with the media. Granted, Bonds’ being unfriendly to the media is about as shocking as finding out Lindsay Lohan removed her ankle bracelet that monitors her BAC and spent a night getting ripped with The Mindfreak at Club Pur in Vegas. Nevertheless, Bonds’ happy-go-lucky attitude from the 2007 All-Star Game has quickly been replaced by his typical brooding, surly, disposition as he sits idly five home runs short of breaking Hammerin’ Hank’s record.
To combat the demons preventing him from hitting home runs (or singles for that matter), Bonds has sought the guidance of the always impartial Reverend Jesse Jackson. The two were recently spotted praying in the Giants’ clubhouse. Initially, I was skeptical about Bonds’ decision to try and get back on track by praying to God, because God doesn’t like steroid-using cheaters. However, I’m pretty sure Bonds probably is a member of the occult underworld, and hence he may have been going Ghost Rider and selling his soul to the devil. Let’s just hope we don’t have an awful movie made about this whole experience starring Nicholas Cage.
-NEIL
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