Who knows how much radioactive power it will take for Jones to get the Silver Slugger award this season…
The secret to Atlanta Braves’ centerfielder Andruw Jones’ success in playing the field is out. Jones, who has become one of the best defensive centerfielders in the history of Major League Baseball over his career by racking up more gold (in gloves) than the members of the Three 6 Mafia have in their teeth, recently revealed that he gives his baseball glove the same treatment that he gives to a Tombstone Pizza - he microwaves it.
I’m all about any superstition or ritual in professional baseball that helps a great player keep his dominance, at least any tradition that doesn’t involve putting one’s own extremities in front of a stream of urine, so it’s hard for me to rip too much on Andruw Jones for microwaving his baseball glove. Hell, practically I’m sure it even makes sense by loosening up the leather or something.
That being said, I guess I’ll be one of many people to state the obvious. After spending the bulk of 2007 hitting near the Mendoza line (or as Tigers’ fans like to call it, the ‘20 points higher than a cheating Neifi Perez will ever hit line’), it might be time for Mr. Jones to consider putting his bats in the microwave instead of his glove. I don’t care if they’re made of wood. Actually, the microwave might not have enough radioactive juice to cure whatever Pedro Cerrano-esque voodoo curse Jones has going this season (I think it’s called ‘playingforanewcontractitis‘). So I’m going to recommend Andruw just dip his bats straight into the same nuclear ooze that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles came out of to try and jump start his second half of 2007.
And yes, there is a small chance I have Andruw Jones on one of my baseball fantasy teams, but that has absolutely nothing to do with the gist of this article.
-NEIL
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1 response so far ↓
1 Humphrybq // Mar 24, 2008 at 8:16 pm
thanks much, guy
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