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Craig Monroe Has 392,096 Family Members

June 27th, 2007 · 15 Comments


I don’t have any proof to back up this claim, but my guess is this ball ended up at the wall before it found Craig’s hands…

Detroit Tigers lead-glove outfielder Craig Monroe is currently slated 15th in American League Outfield All-Star Voting with 392,096 votes. Now, I’m not too certain how such an abortion of a baseball player can rack up 392,096 votes when he’s hitting at a solid .232 clip with 9 home runs, no steals, and 68 strikeouts. Nothing like putting up a batting average eerily reminiscent of Ricky Ledee, power and strikeout numbers that would make Jose Hernandez proud, and combining that amazing skill-set with the blazing speed and base-running ability of Sean Casey.

And if that wasn’t clout to get C-Mo hundreds of thousands of All-Star votes, he’s managed to put a 4K and 5K day at the dish on the board this season. Lest we forget his trials and tribulations in left field which are slowly making Manny Ramirez look more agile than that tiny Chinese guy in Ocean’s 11 (just check out Craig’s error from last night; the good old misplayed liner off of his glove for extra bases).

Well, my level of perplexity was about as off the charts as a Nicole Richie breathalizer as to how Monroe secured 392,096 All-Star Game votes, until I realized he has to have that many family members. Or maybe 392,087 family members and 9 people accidentally punched the wrong circle on their ballots. Either way, I’d love to hear the justification for voting for this clown. I’d advise local clothing stores in Detroit to start hiding their belts, because I have a feeling Craig’s going to be unemployed soon and back on the prowl.

-NEIL

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