Sorry Bucs’ fans, Ian Snell can’t get nasty on the mound tonight. He has to recuperate from a nasty injury caused by poultry and lettuce.
Pittsburgh Pirates‘ ace Ian Snell will not take the mound for his scheduled start tonight. In the Sammy Sosa ‘I threw my back out while sneezing’ Hall-Of-Fame for absurd sports injuries, Snell earned a spot in one of the Hall’s wings as he blistered his hand while cooking a chicken salad. I don’t know if this is really how Snell got injured, but I will say it sounds about as believable as the little kid in Kindergarten Cop repeatedly professing that his face was bruised from falling down the stairs. Maybe we should send Arnold over to the Snell residence to investigate what’s really going on.
On second that, let’s not send T2 over there. I’m not sure I want a cinematic hero to the male gender to be in the same household as a professional pitcher who’s probably busy watching Rachael Ray and Emeril Lagasse. I don’t need any more reminders of how hard Arnold has fallen in my mind, and I want to at least retain some enjoyment when I re-watch ‘Predator’ or ‘Terminator’ in the future.
-NEIL
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