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Maybe the ‘unidentified’ Sox players with Jim Thome thought Patti LaBelle was Lil Kim’s mother and would appreciate their foul-mouthed language…

Well, just like the title says, it would appear the Chicago White Sox are not fans of Patti LaBelle. While dining at the Capital Grille in Chicago, several unidentified members of the team apparently decided to introduce Patti LaBelle and her friends (who were eating at a neighboring table) to some parental advisory caliber words. Thankfully, Sox slugger Jim Thome was also in the group, and he helped diffuse the situation by apologizing for his teammates introducing Ms. LaBelle to words commonly used by the likes of the Insane Clown Posse and 2Pac.

Now I know what you’re thinking. Obviously these boorish players were speaking with such obscenity because they’re not fans of rival Detroit’s Motown, but Patti LaBelle was actually part of the Quincy Jones Philadelphia based R&B music-scene, so that clearly wasn’t the reason for their juvenile conduct. If only the 60’s/70’s soul-singer that was present was Aretha Franklin, then the Sox would’ve been totally justified in their actions.

In all honesty though, I wonder who the hell the players were. I’m sure this has to come out soon, right? If you asked Andy Van Slyke, it would probably have to be a Latin player since their tempers blow up worse than Vince McMahon, but if you asked Gary Sheffield, it couldn’t be a Latin player, since they’re so easy to control and Thome was present. Plus you have to factor in who could possibly be hanging out with Thome - call me crazy, but I don’t think it was Jose Contreras. My gut feeling is the players involved were A.J. Pierzynski and Bobby Jenks. Jenks was probably upset that his portion was too meager, and Pierzynski just strikes me as that token guy who always thinks swearing is fun, even though everyone has been doing it since they were roughly 9 years old. It’s not a fart A.J.; it doesn’t have the same shock-value appeal. I bet Pierzynski is also the guy who walks away from the lane after bowling a strike with no excitement at all. And he’s also the guy who still thinks it’s funny to unscrew the salt-shaker when you go out for a meal with him. And he’s also the guy who totally swoops in on his friend who has a beat on taking home a chick, instead of letting his buddy get his well-earned score.

Mark my words. If we ever find out the names of the players involved in this atrocity, A.J. Pierzynski’’s name will somehow surface.

Now I’m off to send A.J. a copy of the “Lady Marmalade” record.

-NEIL

Here are some good reads:

• Bruiser’s Bet: Seattle Mariners Take it to the White Sox Tonight
• Around The Horn: Speaking Sports For Thursday, March 29, 2007
• Bruiser’s Bet: Sox Will Take Care of the Orioles Tonight in Chi-Town