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“Your Honor…I’m not that bad of a guy. At least I don’t make my wife change flat tires!”

Philadelphia Phillies‘ transformed closer Brett Myers recently was enjoying a limo ride when his extended wheels suffered a flat tire near the Lincoln Tunnel. Apparently Myers’ limo driver was no Arguyle from ‘Die Hard’, and was quite inept at improvising with his job on the fly, as he couldn’t manage to figure out exactly how one would go about putting on a donut tire. Myers, ever the jack-of-all-trades (remember, he did switch from ace starting pitcher to downright closer), decided to get down and dirty and switch the flat tire himself.

But Brett wasn’t traveling alone, as the lovely Mrs. Myers and little mini-Bretts were in the limo with him. You might remember some ugly legal trouble involving the Myers’ clan, who apparently aren’t exactly the Seaver family, a year ago, as Brett Myers decided to go Jason Kidd on his wife. Well, I guess Brett Myers can officially be upgraded from complete jackass to 97.6% jackass, as he at least had the decency to change the tire himself and not make his wife do it. Only about 33 more flats to change before we can consider letting Brett rejoin the decent human race.

-NEIL

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