I bet Eric Crouch watches the South Park movie’s ‘Blame Canada’ song over and over…
Hey, I know Canada sometimes lags a little behind the U.S. in terms of what the cool pop culture trends and fads are. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if tomorrow I read that Canadiens were captivated by the use of Nintendo’s newest technological marvel, the Power Glove, and someone just used it to take out the Super Macho Man. Hell, I wouldn’t even be surprised if I went to a nightclub in Canada only to see throngs of Canucks dancing to the likes of ‘Too Legit To Quit’ or ‘Hangin’ Tough’ while sporting Skidz pants and Bo Jackson jerseys. I wouldn’t even be stunned if I worked in Canada and office water-cooler conversation centered around talking about last night’s newest MacGuyver episode.
Nevertheless, I would like to think our friendly neighbors to the north would manage to keep up with recent developments in the medicinal world and be able to train some decent doctors up there. Although I think ex-Nebraska Heisman-winning quarterback Eric Crouch would like to see Canadian M.D.’s improve their skills just a little bit more than I would. Crouch, the epic NFL quitter, was in his first full CFL season, when Canadian doctors diagnossed his stomach pain as a mere muscle pull. It turns out the doctors were only about 118% off on that diagnosis, as Crouch actually was suffering from an only mildly more severe abdominal hernia (scroll down to the notes at the end of the article for the story). I’m pretty sure Michael Cole’s analysis of the weight of the ring-steps in WWF matches is more accurate than these Canadian doctors’ analysis of Crouch’s injury, and Cole once actually claimed the aluminum-calibur steps weighed two tons in a match involving the Big Show years ago (naturally the Big Show picked up all two tons of the steps and hurled them at his opponent).
Either way, hopefully Canadian medicine will get up-to-snuff in the remainder of this decade. Rumor has it they’re getting excitedly close to developing a cure for Polio, Malaria, and the Bubonic Plague up there. Good luck, guys. I need to feel safe when I cross the border in quest of some Timmy Ho-Ho’s, so please get your doctors and medical knowledge up to par over there!
-NEIL
Here are some good reads: